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Best Orienteering Competition Ever

Show Profile  addison Posted: 11 April 2006, 9:33 AM  
Announcing: The "Sim-o'n".


The greatest and best orienteering competition out.

The rules are simple:
- You must be called Simon to be eligable.
- You must beat the current holder to take the title. A draw is not good enough.
- Winner has ultimate bragging rights.

Depending on numbers compteting, the places follow the name as follows:
1st = Simon the Winner
2nd etc.. (as long as there is someone below you) = Simon 1st Loser, or Simon 2nd Loser etc..
Last = Simon the Loser


In due course we will even have our own prizegivings and medal ceremony. Massive trophies are going to be made. We are even going to take our own podium to events. The eventual plan is to have a dedicated sim-o'n website where we keep an perfect record of results and lots of photos.


There is another rule, and that is that if there are international competitors the NZ contingent of Simons have the ability to ban them from competition. I dont want no bloody Australians stealing it (Simon Uppill from South Aus etc). Only if they are injured or something will we let them compete.

We expect some massive sim-o'n competition at the Nationals and we expect some massive support for our private prizegivings.

Show Profile  Eponine_ Posted: 11 April 2006, 9:47 AM  
Undoubtedly this is going to be the premium competition at the nationals.

Would individuals who masqueraded under the moniker of "Simon" for the duration of the competition be eligible to enter? Even if they are fat?

As far as I can see the participation of foreigners should only be determined after completion of the competition.

Show Profile  addison Posted: 11 April 2006, 12:53 PM  
To be an eligabe Simon we need to see a birth certificate, or some sort of legal document showing that you have changed your name to the best name in the world.

If they are fat thats awesome, but it doesnt mean Bloomberg will beat them.

Perhaps you are correct about foreigners, but lets put it this way.. if they beat me they gona get the bash and then at the party Neil will give them a pash (even if they are male).

Show Profile  Marquita G Posted: 11 April 2006, 5:28 PM  
Can girls called Simone take part?

Show Profile  SJ Posted: 11 April 2006, 5:38 PM  
No. Unless they're really hot.

Show Profile  SJ Posted: 11 April 2006, 5:42 PM  
I would also like to point out that I am the current holder of this amazing title, and that's the way it's gonna stay.

And the fact that the Sim-O'n is the most prestigious competition in New Zealand Orienteering is widely accepted by all New Zealand Orienteering Club Simons (some clubs have no appointed Simon so had no vote on the matter). So with this in mind, please get behind the competition, especially if you want to see Addison get his arse kicked.

Show Profile  Marquita G Posted: 11 April 2006, 6:05 PM  
In this day and age of equal opportunity, I really think you should allow girls called Simone to take part. After all, surely all you Simons would be confident of beating a mere girl. And then Neil would have someone more appropriate to pash at the party. And of course foreigners should be allowed too. Especially Swiss ones. Or are you afraid of really getting your butts kicked?

Show Profile  Eponine_ Posted: 11 April 2006, 6:27 PM  
I'd be worried. Obviously you need to clarify the rules to prevent any possibility of receiving a Swiss butt kicking.

Show Profile  Alistair Posted: 11 April 2006, 7:12 PM  
All this seems rather reminiscent of that childhood game called Simon-Says. I’d guess that most of us here have moved on to rather more mature games.

Show Profile  SJ Posted: 11 April 2006, 8:19 PM  
It's not an age of equal opportunity - I have to pay extra premiums for car insurance because the Insurance companies stereotype me as a young male therefore more likely to have a crash. It's discrimination!

Show Profile  SJ Posted: 11 April 2006, 8:22 PM  
But on a more relevant topic, there will be no Simones. And no foreigners except useless ones who we can waste and then laugh at. Then even Bloomberg will be a Placed Loser.

There is no equal opportunity for anyone except Simons and even then it's not very equal. Besides, Neil wouldn't be interested...

Show Profile  Eponine_ Posted: 11 April 2006, 9:40 PM  
You sound like you are making fun of Bloomberg. Are some Simons more equal than others?

This message was edited by Eponine_ on 11 April 2006, 10:41 PM

Show Profile  SimonB Posted: 11 April 2006, 10:09 PM  
im the best, and also, wasn't there a time, maybe the waitangi sprint where i was first loser, and you were last... yes, yes there was. amaizing.

This message was edited by SimonB on 11 April 2006, 11:21 PM

Show Profile  addison Posted: 12 April 2006, 7:55 AM  
Have you ever been Simon Winner bloomberg?

Show Profile  addison Posted: 12 April 2006, 7:57 AM  
The rules are simple, anything I say goes.

About the inclusion of "simone" we will see if shes valid once the competition has taken place. If she "wins" well hardluck shes DSQ'd. If she beats Bloomberg but doesnt win, shes valid. If she loses outright.. which means that Bloomberg actually gets a placed loser position, I will think about DSQ'n her just so that Bloomberg becomes the Simon Loser once again.

Show Profile  Eponine_ Posted: 12 April 2006, 8:41 AM  
Simon your rules are complicated, cryptic and all-powerful. Are you sure you are not female?


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