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Warning: Pain developing Immunity to Medication.

Show Profile  Neil K Posted: 21 January 2006, 2:10 PM  
Scientist have confirmed that that despite tremendous initial success "Harden Up" pills (TM) have gradually become useless in the fight against pain. Studies have shown that the pill once used by real athletes to compete and train at intensive speeds despite severe injury or hangover has become inefective against most forms of pain.

Researchers conclude that the immunity of the pain virus to "Harden up" (TM) Pills has come about from overuse of the pills by people who weren't actually that sore. These people were actually just softies or scientifically speaking "wooly wooly woofters". "People such as Brent and Jamie have been abusing the Pill ever since it first come on the market, and allthough it may have worked for these fat bastards initially, eventually they have reverted into being whingers again" said director of research into man drugs Dr Richard Bolting.

Thankfully Dr Bolting is on to the cure. His team of researchers have been taking samples of a beast called Chris Fornicator and have found a strong chemicals in his chest hair that rebuilds peoples pain thresholds. The harvesting of this unlimited suppply if it passes the Resource Management Act 1993, will be marketed as "Man Up" by Adson and sons son co.

Show Profile  onemanfanclub Posted: 22 January 2006, 3:48 AM  
Those wishing to protest the potential distruction of valuable wildlife habitat to produce what can only be described as recreational drugs for an invented social illness can join the campaign to save Fornicator Chest Forest at

If resource consent for this unsustainable extraction is granted by the immoral bastards at the Canterbury Regional Council, then we will be seeking volunteers to occupy this valuable at-risk habitat to prevent the harvest. Please ignore any claims by Adson and sons that extraction can be economically viable and ecologically sustainable - the evidence is clear to see when one observes what impact a trial harvest has had on the former lush growth at Jamees Head.

Show Profile  Alistair Posted: 23 January 2006, 1:27 PM  
There has in the weekend appeared rumours circulating over police corruption linked to the scandal over the aforementioned harvesting of FC Forest. Police spokesperson Bent Backwards has in an interview denied that he has received back-handers from Adson and sons sons co. His lawyer Jasmine Stalwarthog defended her client stating that while Jamees Head may be a devastated wasteland the lower regions known as Stewarts Breast have shown no effects of the neighbouring near-desert. These claims have been backed up by modelling expert Pete Martini who stated that demographics show clearly that it's reforestation environmentalists who have a problem while groups such as Kane & Co have lauded the beauty of the view now possible from Jamees Head. Their representative Doctor Penelope is considering applying for "National Treasure Status" for the region but was heard to say "that the process involved was a real gamble with bureaucrats such as Bob Clawfoot running the show".

Show Profile  HeadHoncho Posted: 24 January 2006, 3:39 AM  
Bob Clawfoot would like it known that "National Treasure Status" is only granted based on the size of the head in the nether regions. One can understand the confusion, and would advise Dr Penelope to look elsewhere for examples of "National Treasure Status" than Jamees Head.

Show Profile  Jamie Posted: 24 January 2006, 9:48 AM  
In a surprising new development in the FCF harvesting controversy the cheif antagonist Adson and Sons have occupied the barren wasteland of Jamees head stating that it is a charming place full of adventure and good memories.

Local bureaucrat Bob Clawfoot did not take kindly to their occupation and yelled at them with a high pitched voice. He was later heard to say " they were sitting inside my head laughing at what I said".

Meanwhile the local constable, Mr Backwards refused to evict Adson and sons stating that "I refuse to place my hands on any ugly man wearing a red wrestling suit and giving me the glad eye". Backwards was last seen scouring the surrounds for local skinks.

Meanwhile notorius local criminal malister flannels has escaped from a secure residence nearby and is reported to be hiding in the FCF while engaging in mysterious sexual activities. Adson and co say the harvest will go ahead and if Flannels is injured or killed that is just bad luck. Adson quickly announced "frankly, this man while deviantly charismatic in his time is past his prime and should not be lurking around scaring our children"

Show Profile  Dave Barr Posted: 27 January 2006, 1:19 AM  
In yet another blow for Adson & Sons Son Co Ltd Inc the much vaunted 'man up' formula has run into more problems. Whilst it is very effective against pain a new study has shown 'man up' to be completely ineffective in people who suffer from 'Feline Lash Syndrome' (FLS), which is known colloquilly as 'Handbrake Disease'.

This is a great obstacle for the gaining of approval to harvest 'man up' under the Resource Management Act 1993, due to the large number of athletes currently suffering from FLS. This has swung the cost/ benefit analysis significantly against Adson & Sons Son Co.

A source inside Adson & Sons Son Co. has revealed that they are currently trying to find a method to synthetically produce Chris Fornicator Chest Hair, but early results are not promising as all they have managed to produced so far is Ginger Pubes, and market research has shown that nobody likes Ginger Pubes.




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