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Show Profile  HeadHoncho Posted: 4 May 2003, 11:01 PM  
Message from Saddam

After numerous rounds of "We don't even know if Saddam is still alive", Saddam decided to send George W. a letter in his own writing to let his friend know that he is still in the game. Bush opened the letter and it appeared to contain a coded message:


George W. couldn't figure it out so he typed it in and emailed Colin Powell. Colin and his aids had no clue either so they sent it to the CIA. No one could solve it so it went to the NSA and then to MIT and NASA and the cc list got longer and longer.

Eventually it arrived at the Fed. Dr. Greenspan looked at it and replied the next second: "Perhaps the President would wish to look at the message up-side-down...."

Medical exam on bush.

Bush got something wrong with his brain.
After medical examination, doctor tells him:
Your brain has two parts: one is left, and another is right.
Your left brain has nothing right,
Your right brain has nothing left.

George Bush goes to a primary school to talk about the war. After his talk he offers question time. One little boy puts up his hand, and George asks him what his name is.


"And what is your question Billy"

"I have 3 questions. Firstly why is the USA invading Iraq without the support of the UN; secondly why are you President when Al Gore got more votes and what ever happen to Osama Bin Laden?"

Just then the bell rings for recess. George Bush informs the kiddies that they will continue after recess. When they resume George says "Okay where were we? Oh that's right question time. Who has a question?"

A different little boy puts his hand, George points him out and asks him what his name is.


"And what is your question Steve"

"I have 5 questions. Firstly why is the USA invading Iraq without the support of the UN; secondly why are you President when Al Gore got more votes; thirdly what ever happen to Osama Bin Laden; fourthly why the did the bell go 20 minutes early and what happened to Billy?"

Snappy Answer #1

A flight attendant was stationed at the departure gate to check tickets. As a man approached, she extended her hand for the ticket, and he opened his trench coat and flashed her. Without missing a beat she said, "Sir, I need to see your ticket, not your stub."

Snappy Answer #2

A lady was picking through the frozen turkeys at the grocery store, but couldn't find one big enough for her family. She asked a stock boy, "Do these turkeys get any bigger?" The stock boy replied, "No ma'am, they're dead."

Snappy Answer #3

The cop got out of his car and the kid who was stopped for speeding rolled down his window. "I've been waiting for you all day," the cop said. The kid replied, "Yeah, well I got here as fast as I could." When the cop finally stopped laughing, he sent the kid on his way without a ticket.

Snappy Answer #4

A truck driver was driving along on the freeway. A sign comes up that reads! "low bridge ahead." Before he knows it the bridge is right ahead of him and he gets stuck under the bridge. Cars are backed up for miles. Finally, a police car comes up. The cop gets out of his car and walks around to the truck driver, puts his hands on his hips and says, "Got stuck, huh?" The truck driver says, "No, I was delivering this bridge and ran out of gas."

Snappy Answer #5

A college teacher reminds her class of tomorrow's final exam. "Now class, I won't tolerate any excuses for you not being here tomorrow. I might consider a nuclear attack or a serious personal injury or illness, or a death in your immediate family but that's it, no other excuses whatsoever!" A smart-ass guy in the back of the room raised his hand and asks, "What would you say if tomorrow I said I was suffering from complete and utter sexual exhaustion?" The entire class does its best to stifle their laughter and snickering. When silence is restored, the teacher smiles sympathetically at the student, shakes her head, and sweetly says, "Well, I guess you'd have to write the exam with your other hand".




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