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The Plot

Show Profile  Jamie Posted: 25 October 2009, 1:52 AM  
Reading Maptalk now is like reading a Technical committee report. It is so firmly in the grasp of the established O geeks that they have even had the audacity to try and confine abuse to one thread.

It is like they waited ten years and then went in for the kill. They plotted in the dusty backrooms of their suburban houses filled with old piles of maps and certificates,

"Lets bore them to death and kill off Maptalk once and for all".

Unfortunately the youth of orienteering was too busy with exams (because its sooo busy being a student), facebook and dreaming about training, to tell them to F**k off.

They failed to understand that only indignity and a lack of pride can scare the forces of middle aged orienteering away

So Maptalk died.

Show Profile  Ellmo1769 Posted: 25 October 2009, 3:12 AM  

Show Profile  onemanfanclub Posted: 25 October 2009, 7:42 AM  

It was JFK and the Loch Ness Monster wot killed Maptalk

Show Profile  rob.g Posted: 25 October 2009, 7:48 AM  
You've lost the plot Jamie

Show Profile  SimonB Posted: 25 October 2009, 10:15 AM  
i think because now Jamie's got a job he can call all the students out about having so much spare time

Show Profile  Alistair Posted: 25 October 2009, 10:25 PM  
You're in the dark ages Jamie, todays juniors are too hip to hang out in web-forums full of O'geeks. Forums are too slow, it's twitter and texting, MSN/ICQ/etc, maybe a little facebook - it's the need for speed speed speed! Messages in your face fast 24-7!

Show Profile  Bryan Posted: 26 October 2009, 11:32 PM  
Maybe we could have an option on Onet to text all messages...
But no, that's my O'geek part of me thinking - there's no hope for me.

Jamie, you are so cool - I want to join your clique.
But wait, I'm just a grumpy old man - not even middle aged.
To you I say, life begins at 40.

Maybe all the cool guys have turned into grumpy middle aged guys.

I remember sonny, when Onet was way cooler than maptalk.

I guess instead of a 'Real Maptalker' I'll be a 'Real Orienteer' instead.

Posted on Onet: 1994

O Article #2
Real Orienteers
By Bryan Teahan


- don't use pictorial descriptions on their clipcard. Pictorial
Descriptions are after all, the illiterate's method of reading.
Cavemen drew pictures; look how much it did for them. Real
Orienteers can remember control descriptions in their head.

- never work 9 to 5. If any Real Orienteers are around at 9am its
because they were up all night.

- never pace count. Pace counting is for compulsive, prematurely
toilet-trained neurotics who wear neckties to work and carefully
line up sharpened pencils on an otherwise uncluttered desk.

- never use a compass - a compass was invented for pansy bedwetters
who are unable to know instantly which direction is north. In fact,
NO Real Orienteer uses a compass after reaching puberty. If Real
Orienteers could get by without using a map, they would.

- don't play tennis or any other sport which requires a change of
clothes. Mountain climbing is ok, and Real Orienteers often wear
climbing boots to work in case a mountain should suddenly spring
up in the middle of the room.

- don't drive station wagons. They prefer BMW's, Mercs or Utes. Fast motorcycles are highly regarded.

- don't even train. Real Orienteers are just naturally fit and
extremely talented. They can eat, sleep and drink as much as they
like. They have fast metabolisms and the constitution of an ox.
They drink Rum and Coke by the bucketfull.

- never use a track. Tracks are for wimpy Orienteers who are afraid of the forest. Reliance on a track is a hallmark of the novice and the coward.

- never go to events which are on farmland. Forests are a Real Orienteers best friend - the darker and denser the better.

- always go straight. Little things like 50m cliffs, uncrossable rivers or ravines are no problem. Real Orienteers can leap tall buildings in a bound.

- disregard vegetation. Their is only one colour important to the Real Orienteer - brown. Solid, thick impenetrable green is no trouble to the dedicated Real Orienteer - the thicker the better.

- don't wear O' suits. Real Orienteers run around in shorts, bare-chested. O' suits are for effeminate, insecure mother's boys who like to look nice.

Show Profile  mick finn Posted: 27 October 2009, 12:45 AM  
Yep, maptalk, facebook, twitter and myspace are all dead - they've all been replaced by the more politically correct Racebook

Show Profile  HeadHoncho Posted: 28 October 2009, 12:11 AM  
Putting some names to those ...
4. Pasi Ikonen
5. Nic Gorman (?)
7. Rob Garden (also qualifies for 2.)
10. Al Landels as a 17 y.o. (or Ross Brighouse at Katoa Po)
12. Derek Morrison

Show Profile  onemanfanclub Posted: 28 October 2009, 10:40 AM  
I don't think 5 counts if the mountain is already there and the office isn't.

Show Profile  thomasr Posted: 28 October 2009, 11:46 AM  
ok how about this, why are all the little kids running m20 instead of m16 at tonic this weekend?

Show Profile  GeneO Posted: 28 October 2009, 12:49 PM  
motivated to pick up the pace after Aussie?

Show Profile  valerie Posted: 30 October 2009, 10:48 AM  
Female on Maptalk!!!!!! Tom, I wondered that too?? There is a saying: One should not run before you can walk.....Ross at 13 DID NOT run in the M20 Grade!

Show Profile  onemanfanclub Posted: 2 November 2009, 12:41 AM  
Jamie thinks Maptalk died because the older generation made it polite and boring? Only one thing can be said in response to that....

Pfffft x2!!!

Show Profile  valerie Posted: 2 November 2009, 1:10 PM  

Show Profile  Jamie Posted: 2 November 2009, 2:25 PM  
Val are you suggesting that all talented youg orienteers should develop late, under perform for their talent at JWOC, get on the boozer at University have a mid-life crisis and only then become elites?

I would suggest there are many paths to perfection, and good on those going hard and seeking better competition. They seem quite capable of running to me.

I would like to say shame on those juniors that feel the need to pick on the tired and desperate has beens of the elite field though.

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